Top 5 Ways Kinect Sports Rivals Is Going To Make You Realize You’re a Jerk
First off, the title of this article deserves a bit of a caveat; we’re not suggesting that Kinect Sports Rivals is going to mold or influence your personality and slowly poison you against the rest of humanity. What we are saying is that you’ve more or less gotten there on your own, and that Kinect Sports Rivals will only provide you a mirror that becomes substantially less opaque until you stare back unflinchingly at the jerk you’ve always been. Admittedly, there isn’t much to go on apart from the Official E3 Trailer and accompanying fab Fact Sheet, but from what we’ve seen, we’re assured that breaking down the information into five seamless categories is the best manner to expose you for what you are. These are the Top 5 Ways Kinect Sports Rivals Is Going To Make You Realize You’re a Jerk.
#5. YOU’LL USE WHATEVER TACTICS ARE AVAILABLE TO YOU IN ORDER TO SECURE A WIN
In Rare‘s official E3 trailer for Kinect Sports Rivals we observe American musician, Carl Tapp rock climbing as his avatar ‘champion’ scales a manufactured cliff face. While the competition has left him making up for lost ground, he manages to gain a few feet – and with an automatic reflex he manages to reach up and tug on the ankle of the climber above. In one swift movement, Carl thrusts the opposing climber downward where he bumps into a second athlete and sends her hurtling down as well. We’re not going to draw morality into this, we know that we are free of repercussions in virtual space – but we do have to pose a question: Knowing that this is entirely an option when climbing, do you think you’ll consider it when you’re playing. Of course you will, at every opportunity! That kind of makes you a jerk. But that’s okay because…
#4. YOU WILL BE SURROUNDED BY OTHER JERKS, AND YOU WILL AIM TO OUT-JERK THEM
After Carl finished his ascent with a curt smile, witty quip and maniacal laughter, he climbed the rest of the way unopposed, claiming first position when he reached the summit. He may have been unscrupulous in his methods, but he still added to his overall experience and skill level. With Kinect Sports Rivals‘ matchmaking, you “compete with champions of matched or slightly higher skill level” whenever you advance, the implications of which mean that you’ll be facing against other gamers who decided to play a little ankle snag tag. Now, perhaps you won’t use this tactic every time, but as you progress it will become more and more tempting to secure your rank against players that will. If you hope to preserve your sportsman-like image and avoid jerk territory, you’ll need to watch how you play the majority of the time, because…
#3. YOU CAN BE A JERK ONLINE, AND YOUR CHAMPION IS SLOWLY LEARNING HOW TO BE AS WELL
When you’re not tossing your fellow man from cliff faces to gain an edge, it’s likely that your competitive persona is just one of many that you express on a daily basis. Empathy, sadness, concern, compassion – these emotions define you as a person, and as such, have absolutely no place online when you’re reaching up for a bit of ankle on the rocks. We can be relentless online, and with Xbox One Living Games technology your champion “learns to act like you, and competes like you against your friends, even when you’re not around“. So while you’re saving a burning orphanage down the street, your champion is still scaling the rocks, tugging incessantly at the limbs of your friends to send them down the escarpment. It’s not their fault, it’s all they’ve ever known! It’s all you’ve ever managed to teach them – but that’s okay, because…
#2. YOU’RE STILL PART OF A TEAM! A TEAM MADE UP OF THE FINEST JERKS WE CAN FIND!
In Kinect Sports and Kinect Sports: Season Two each event completed was one of a personal journey and accomplishment, but with Kinect Sports Rivals you can align with one of three teams to contribute your individual victories to their progress. Whether you choose the Wolf Clan, Viper Network or Eagle Legion you’ll be aided and abetted by like-minded team mates – and therein lies the incentive to be a total jerk about it. For instance, the bombastic wake racer that blasted ahead of his competition in the trailer was met with thunderous applause from his audience. That attention and team motivation is going to be extremely hard to ignore if the possibility to take away a victory for the opposing team arises. While you might be fighting for your team in this scenario, you’re still going to be a jerk because…
#1. YOU’RE ONLY ULTIMATELY INTERESTED IN YOUR OWN VICTORIES AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS
In Kinect Sports Rivals it’s “You versus The World” and regardless of your teams standing on a global scale, you’ll still keep track of your own personal achievements and accomplishments in the grand scheme of things. Presumably, Kinect Sports Rivals will rank players with a high score, so ultimately a winner will be sought out amongst the millions that play. Now, imagine that you’ve been leading your team to victory for months, and in this hypothetical setting the only opposition to taking first place in the world is one of your own team mates. If a sudden-death match was decided to choose a winner, would you go against your best friend whom you’ve bonded and struggled with to take your place on the top of the high scores? The game is Climbing. You’d totally tug at his leg wouldn’t you? Whao…we’re all jerks!
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