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Top 5 Passive Aggressive Rare Cheat Reactions (That We Totally Deserve)

You know what really sucks? When you pick up one of Rare's titles and discover that it's too hard to make it through the first stage. You know what else really sucks? You -- because you can't even make it through the first stage. Fear not though, casual mincemeat, for Rare has provided even the most clueless of gamers with a plethora of cheat codes you can utilize in place of talent, perseverance and satisfaction. Everyone wins! Except you of course, because you had to resort to cheating. On that note, Rare's trademark snide comes through in spades where it's needed most, with a healthy dose of reality as you fumble through your existence. Unfortunately there isn't a cheat code for that one... These are the Top 5 Passive Aggressive Rare Cheat Reactions (That We Totally Deserve)
#5. BEHAVIOR MUCH TOO DARK FOR CARRINGTON INSTITUTE - PERFECT DARK (N64)
In similar fashion to its iris-gilded predecessor, Perfect Dark allows budding agents to amass cheat codes based on their solo campaign performance. A quick visit to Grimshaw in his self-professed 'Hacker Central' terminal brings up a menu of unlocked cheats which can be toggled on and off at your discretion. While you'll hardly be judged for your terrible cheating decisions, the same can't be said for Joanna Dark, as the agent will be scrutinized harshly as a "Dishonored Agent" upon completion of any mission with cheats enabled. This status will appear if Joanna is successful in completing her mission, or meets an untimely end at the hands of dataDynes finest. With the final mission status reading "Cheated", the only means to clean up Joanna's tarnished reputation is to turn the cheats off and think about what you've done.
#4. A MEGA WARP BACK TO THE TITLE SCREEN - BATTLETOADS & DOUBLE DRAGON (SNES)
Heralded as one of Rare's most difficult titles ever released, and constant source of retrospective whinging of via Throwback Thursday, SNES classic Battletoads & Double Dragon holds onto the proud tradition started in its NES roots. Gamers made of stronger stuff were treated to the trials and turbo tunnel turmoil ahead, but cheaters could skip the menagerie with the Mega Warp code! Entering Up, Down, Down, Up, X, B, Y, A on the character selection screen could be used to leap to the final showdown with the Dark Queen in stage 7-1. While she was still ruthless as ever, her eventual defeat would be criticized by Professor T. Bird who offers, "Well done boys, but even the Dark Queen doesn't cheat. Try again without the warps." One last 'warp' to the title screen and the Dark Queens defeat was all but a lingering memory...
#3. CHEAT CODES ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE - CONKER'S BAD FUR DAY (N64)
The humor found in Conker's Bad Fur Day doesn't relegate itself to a single sobering campaign, as a quick tour of the Cock & Plucker reveals during the opening. Venture over to the fireplace 'Options' menu and you'll find a lone Fire Imp with enough cheek to fill the cartridge and then some. Making a quick introduction to the Cheat mode with a crass "You cheatin' bastard!", or the considerably less vulgar, "Given up already, huh?" provides players with a good outlook of things to come. Waste time entering the wrong cheat, or attempting to submit the same erroneous cheat twice will have the Impish onlooker calling out your obliviousness with deserved cursing. You can always use the menu to snap back with some insults of your own, just don't be surprised if you find yourself at the receiving end of further banter when you try to slip it past him.
#2. WHAT A SAD, SORDID AFFAIR... - DONKEY KONG COUNTRY 2: DIDDY'S KONG QUEST (SNES)
ACM could very well have stood for "A Challenging Masterpiece" as far as Donkey Kong Country and those ignorant of acronyms were concerned - but its sequel turned things up to eleven, inspiring our endearing hatred of bramble that has never faltered. If the massive conquest was too much to bear however, unfortunate gamers everywhere could turn to some choice cheat codes to keep them in the game; tapping down from the 'Two Player Contest' option ten times would reveal a Cheat Mode, showcasing the Kongs thumbing through a "SAD MAG" code booklet. To add further insult to injury, the code to earn 50 lives was Y, A ,Select, A, Down, Left, A, Down, which the observant will notice spells out "YA SAD LAD". A similar cheat called 'WEAKLING' was offered in the Gameboy Advance remake. Rare hits the nose on that one.
#1. DON'T YOU GO AND TELL HER, OR SHE'LL TEST YOUR TEMPER - BANJO-KAZOOIE (N64)
The first entry in the Banjo-Kazooie series is filled to the brim with helpful cheats to assist you on your quest, and aside from the obvious exception of transforming into Wishy Washy Banjo, there isn't a sour code in the bunch. You'll have to exercise a bit of moderation if you want to keep your progress insofar however, as getting greedy and using more than three codes to help you through the marginally easier adventure will spur Gruntilda into threatening to erase your entire gamepak! Ignoring common sense and pressing on regardless will keep the witch good on her promise, with an empty cheated file in place of a wiped cartridge. A less harsh consequence awaits in the XBLA edition, with saving and leaderboards disabled in the interest of fairness, though you should know better than to cheat in the first place...

Categories: Banjo-Kazooie, Battletoads & Double Dragon (Super NES), Conker's Bad Fur Day, Donkey Kong Country 2, Perfect Dark, Top 5 Lists

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