Top 5 Reasons We Still Love Battletoads (Battletoads Theme Week)

Do you have Battletoads? If not, it’s something to look into, as Rare is sending off the month of January with a Battletoads Theme Week! Since we’ve covered the turmoil in the Turbo Tunnel within our previous lists, and our sessions with our therapists we’ve decided to forgo repressed memories for an extended love letter for the series as a whole. Whether you’re unfamiliar with Battletoads, just getting to grips with it via Rare Replay, or you’ve been with Rash, Pimple and Zitz from the very beginning, you should find something to fawn over with our own warty retrospective in honor of this ‘Toadally radical series! From Ragnorak’s Canyon and back again, these are the Top 5 Reasons We Still Love Battletoads!


#5. THESE ‘TOADS ARE STILL FRESH, THEIR KILLER ‘TUDE KEEPS THE LEGACY GOLDEN!


Rare‘s amphibious brawler may have started life on the Nintendo Entertainment System, but it was hardly the only place to feature Nuclear Knuckles and Psyko Pigs. Hopping about as their namesake suggests, the Battletoads never grew stagnant, keeping the action fast and earning lasting charm across a number of consoles, even entering the mature arcade scene! While other lesser heroes have come and gone, the Battletoads are still remarkably relevant, with Rare Replay introducing the refined Twycross polish to a new generation. Your favorite entry in the series is entitely subjective of course, and while it’s difficult to narrow the list down to just one definitive title, every showdown with the Dark Queen offers something that is as much a joy to play now as it was back in the ’90’s!


#4. THESE ‘TOADS GOT A BEAT, AND THEY’RE TOTALLY TOTING TUBULAR TUNES!


Held in such high regard to find company with Banjo-Kazooie and Perfect Dark with a vinyl release, the memorable melodies of Battletoads cannot be overstated. Each level has been given its own definitive signature that is unforgettable in its own right; enter the Wookie Hole and you’ll be greeted with a descending whistle that matches the mood of the vertical plunge. In the Turbo Tunnel, you’ll find the fast-paced composition acting a metronome as you avoid obstacles – and if you’re especially hard, you might even manage to survive through the piece! Even pausing the action greets you with a punchy beat that inspires headbanging. Venturing into a new area is nearly as much a reward as hearing the new chiptunes associated with it, and it definitely gave us incentive to hang in until the end.


#3. THE DARK QUEEN IS A BODACIOUS BABE, BUT HER MEAN STREAK RUNS A MILE!


If looks could kill, the Dark Queen stands as our personal Medusa, with a frozen glare to match her cold shoulders. Making an appearance every time you manage to survive one of her deadly traps, this leather-clad temptress is unforgettable with her choice of threats, taunts and venomous vitriol that have become something of a Battletoads staple. Serving as the series antagonist for the majority of the canon, squaring off against this royal pain lives up to the infamous difficulty with a confrontation that will test your mettle. Whether you find yourself on the recieving end of a particularly harsh huricane kick, or you’re being mocked by her holographic form in Battletoads Arcade, players will remember the Dark Queen as one of the greatest villians in the Cosmos to leave them smitten.


#2. KEEP THE GOOD TIMES ROLLING AND THE RIGHTEOUS ‘TOADS CROAKING, DUDES!


Battletoads may be formally known as a beat-em-up title, though players who have mastered its many challenges will know it as genre-spanning beast that features its fair share of races and platforming sections. You’ll descend through labyrinths, ascend through windswept towers, ride along the backs of snakes and brave the harsh climates of arctic caves. Every level presents something new, something unexpected and ultimately has remained thrilling with its variety. Playing through the title with a friend changes every strategy you’ll have developed up to that point, and searching for the Mega Warps changes the game further still; each time you manage to best Battletoads you’ll uncover more of its secrets and there’s enough trials in the title to keep you coming back for a very long time.


#1. GNARLY DIFFICULTY SEEMS BOGUS BUT IT KEEPS US COMING BACK FOR MORE!


It shouldn’t come as a shock that Battletoads has inspired something of a love-hate relationship with nearly everyone that crosses it. Tough-as-nails platforming and a rigid difficulty curve that masochists deem a turn-off has added to its enduring legacy, though if you can triumph over its many perils Battletoads proves to be an extremely rewarding experience. Dipping into the Infinite Turbo Tunnel via Rare Replay should give you a taste of the action, but seeing it through to the end will test everything you think you know about platforming, timed jumps and bitter tears. If you’re the type that enjoys sadistic romps through titles like Super Meat Boy and Dark Souls II you owe it to yourself to master the art of Battletoads in all of its gleefully frustrating glory. We love it, and we always will.

Categories: Top 5 Lists

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