Top 5 Most Outright Disgusting Rare Bosses
Dirty rotten tricks aside, there seems to be a degree of cleanliness maintained throughout Rare‘s boss fights
when even fetid characters like Gruntilda has her arsenal of rotten habits wear thin when it comes to the final battle. Though for every boss that manages to pass through the gates to provide an exhilarating showdown, three more shove through that make our stomachs turn with their morbid maneuvers, disgusting defenses and off-putting aesthetics.
Hardly for the faint of heart, and certainly not for those about to tuck in, we’ve gathered the most loathsome, revolting and outright nauseating antagonists in Rare‘s library for the purposes of careful scrutiny and general distaste on all counts.
These are the Top 5 Most Outright Disgusting Rare Bosses, who’s hungry?
#5. DEALING WITH A SPLITTING HEADACHE (BY SPLITTING IT OPEN) – NARC (NES)
Based on the popular arcade game of the same name, NARC tasked players with apprehending the eponymous Mr. Big, the head of a large drug trafficking operation. We’re not sure if this is an accurate description of his title or his appearance, as a meeting with Mr. Big at the end of the title reveals him to be a massive dismembered head. Shuffling along the floor in slovenly fashion, Mr. Big‘s sole attack is launching bits of his own tongue until he’s managed to incur enough damage, once you’ve done that, your combined munitions will cause his skin to explode off of his face like shrapnel; leaving nothing but an animate skull and a ring of flayed flesh around the base of his neck. Swear off harmful narcotics, restful slumber and your appetite for the next fortnight, kids!
#4. AIRBORNE ALLERGENS FROM A DISGRUNTLED PTERODACTYL PARENT – BANJO-TOOIE (N64)
At first glance, going head to head against Terry the pterodactyl parent in Banjo-Tooie seems as normal as a prehistoric showdown would naturally yield. Once you consider that Terry only has the ability to attack from afar however, you’ll find yourself protecting yourself against a plethora of phlegmy projectiles. Coughing up a colorful assortment of purple globules to start things off, Terry goes out of his way to leave his nest filled with mucus in his second attack, which involves meeting the sentient Mucoids that will hop persistently towards Banjo and Kazooie. If it wasn’t enough to deal with Terrys aptly titled “Snotty Buddies”, he’ll routinely return to his nest to fill it up with even more Mucoids at the battle becomes heated. Asteroid extinction aside, perhaps prehistoric hygiene played a larger role in wiping out these guys…
#3. THE SLUGGISH QUEEN LURG AND HER REIGN OF MAGGOTS – JET FORCE GEMINI (N64)
While most of us have a predisposition towards disliking arachnids, aenictogiton and generally any insect that has too many legs for its own good, Jet Force Gemini offers more repulsing enemies than we could hope to fill this entire list. Schlepping her way through the contending ranks however, the dreaded Slug Queen fought by Vela is arguably the most revolting of the lot. Dragging herself around a circular corridor while Vela attacks from afar, the Slug Queen possesses the ability to summon a mass of maggots that will drop from above and explode on contact. As the battle lingers on, you’ll be tasked with blasting away unnecessary limbs and then going after her overstuffed abdomen that keeps her sluggishly behind. After her head explodes, her body twitches in sickening fashion. Disgusting to the bitter end!
#2. GETTING IN TOUCH WITH GALDON’S INSIDE STORY – STARFOX ADVENTURES (GAMECUBE)
Progress far enough into the Dark Ice Mine and you’ll come across a frozen reptilian named Galdon, who has managed to ingest the sought-after SpellStone. Left with two options – and the second looking a little more undesirable – Fox will be tasked with getting himself eaten to reclaim the Stone lost inside Galdons stomach. Once you’ve splashed down into the confines of the fleshy chamber, you’ll need to attack Galdons uvula to loosen the SpellStone trapped inside. Once the disgusting dino has had enough, Fox will find himself forcibly removed from Galdon‘s interior with a bit of regurgitation. From here it’s a matter of rinse, rather and repeat – get swallowed whole, splash around inside Galdons innards and then prepare to be forcefully vomited back up again. Just try not to be sick yourself…
#1. FECES FLINGING FALSETTO SINGING SLOPRANO – CONKER’S BAD FUR DAY (N64)
Everyone saw this entry coming, even your mother. But the Great Mighty Poo deserves this mention more than ever for managing to present itself as the most revolting, repulsive and downright repugnant boss that we’ve ever had the displeasure of facing. For the uninitiated, the Great Mighty Poo is a massive mound of sentient slop that has an affection for opera singing. Conker will be tasked with tossing a roll of bog into his gaping maw as he sings, all while the Mighty Poo flings handfuls of his own his own mass towards the freshly sober squirrel. The entire battle is recounted in song, which the Mighty Poo uses to threaten Conker, especially regarding a verse to which the squirrel meets his end inside the Poo‘s rear end. The entire battle ends with a great flushing; now that’s what we call a bowel movement!
Categories: Top 5 Lists
0 Comments
This post has been left all alone with no comments. Don't leave it lonesome - give it some company with a comment.