Top 5 Clearly Evil Rare Vegetables (That Frighten Us To No End)

Hardly finished with reliving the horrors of fiendish faces, we’ve returned to tackle an issue that has kept us up many a sleepless night; Rare‘s obsession with creating unsettling vegetable villians!
Right, so, that obviously sounded better on paper, and might well be the reason we keep getting kicked out of all our support group meetings, but mark our words – that’s exactly what they want you to think!
These sentient beasties will sprout up and stalk you in your sleep, with their malicious grins and calorie savvy serving sizes. Evading capture from Rare‘s rumored Rubbish Video Game Character Police was the first step in their master plan, the next was to astonishingly appear in more than one game as serious adversaries. Brussels, Brocolli, Beans, Beets and all manner of vile veggies will one day have their way with all of us! The horror!
These are the Top 5 Clearly Evil Rare Vegetables (That Frighten Us To No End).

#5. QUICK CARROT – KINECT SPORTS (XBOX 360)


Appearing alongside Energetic Eye and Zippy Zombie in Rare‘s first Kinect Sports title, Quick Carrot was living his namesake as he rose in popularity among Kinect Sports players. While his short-lived fame would hardly rival that of Rapid Robot, who achieved a near level of cult status, Quick Carrot stuck his orange fingers into every digital Cake that would have him. With his headphones muffling the screams of his less-fortunate mascot adversaries, our dead eyed veggie secured himself with Full Avatar Suits and an exclusive Pint-sized Plushie while they faded into obscurity. With no end in sight for his insatiable attention craving, we just need to know one thing; where did you bury Speedy Snowman? Was it in the cake?

#4. TOPPER, BAWL & COLLIWOBBLE – BANJO-KAZOOIE (N64)


With the serene solitude of Spiral Mountain serving as a training ground for the Bear and Bird duo to learn their basic moves, a few easy enemies would be required to test out new-found abilities. Topper, Bawl and Colliwobble, a carrot, onion and cauliflower respectively filled this niche in rather well, getting players accustomed to seeing every sentient creature with a pair of enormous eyeballs. Interestingly enough, the vegetable denizens arguably have the most graphic death throes, which means after you’ve gotten acquainted with your new wide-eyed friends, any contact will have them explode in a shower of cauliflower bits – you psychopath! With Bawl the sole-survivor in Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, we just know that he’s been plotting his revenge for ten long years… Remember Banjo, onions will make you cry!

 #3. STEADY CELERY – KINECT SPORTS CALORIE CHALLENGE DLC (XBOX 360)


Perhaps in an effort to introduce a new line-up of mascots to replace the ones that Quick Carrot had gotten to first, the Kinect Sports Calorie Challenge DLC tasks players with facing off against several mouthwatering mascots as they burn off their calories before time runs out. Joining the fray as your first opponent was Steady Celery, a stalky character with the same dead eyes and vacant stare as Quick Carrot, though foraging into his dark past reveals that he wasn’t always this way. Our theory is that after being told that celery technically has negative calories, the surly celery finally snapped and did away with the ill-fated Turbo Tomato. With a permanent grin stretched across his face, the unstable Steady Celery then took the tomatoes place in the DLC pack, just waiting for his 5 minutes of freedom…

 #2. ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES – DONKEY KONG 64 (N64)


While you might expect the frights and freaks to be found exclusively during the Night portions of Fungi Forest in Donkey Kong 64, the truth is that the day can be equally as terrifying for featuring its own cavalcade of creepy creatures. Venture into the area harboring a beanstalk for instance, and you’ll happen upon a rather distressed bookworm who has become the sole survivor of a ruthless killing spree from a horde of murderous tomatoes. Before you might even begin to doubt his seemingly ridiculous claim, several massive fanged tomatoes unearth themselves and begin to give chase! You’ll never have experienced true terror until you’ve watched as you’re helplessly squashed by a massive tomato twice your size, fangs dripping with saliva as it bears down over top, grinning. It’s what nightmares are made of!

 #1. MUTO-CABBAGE – BATTLETOADS (GAME BOY)


Evidently too terrifying to include in the original Battletoads title, (which had it’s own fair share of horror when it came to the dreaded Turbo Tunnel) Battletoads on the Gameboy featured the Muto-Cabbages, which as the name suggests are several large heads of cabbage lined with teeth and capable of flight. If this doesn’t seem too chilling, just imagine braving the tricks and traps of Stage 7 only to be greeted by a unstoppable gaping mouth as you jump into the unknown terrain just ahead. The manual describes their existence as spawned from a “failed experiment”, which in turn means that someone saw the practicalities of flying cabbage at some point. Biting off more than they can chew at 3 health points, and catching you off guard every time, the Muto-Cabbage gives us proper incentive for finishing all of our vegetables.

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