Piyoz’s SSB4 DLC Wishes

by Piyoz on Dec 9th, 2014

You know, Smash Bros. fans are crazy. What with all their hard core Meteor Smash tactics, their Gamecube controllers, and their actually being able to play as ROB. I don’t get it. The one thing that these fanatics did in the wake of the brand new mystery Smash Bros 4 roster was to assemble, not unlike amateur Marvel Comics writers, their own dream character selections. We here at Rare Gamer did plenty of this. And there was no shame in it so long as Shulk was on the list.

Now I never got into this whole roster-building business myself. I knew I’d be satisfied because I knew deep in my heart that Lucas wasn’t going to return. However, after the roster was fully revealed and the 3DS version was already out, something else struck me.

Mewtwo.

Yes, even though this roster was fully formed and (mostly) balanced out, game director Masahiro Sakurai announced that Mewtwo would return to the fray in future DLC. If he can add Mewtwo, then Sakurai could add anyone he wants! He could put up suggestions on Miiverse and have fans choose the next new fighter! Who knows what the future holds?

Consider this my official Christmas list. Sakurai Claus, if you’re reading this, I’ve been a very good boy this year. And I swear I’ll have your money soon. It’s just that Joey’s afraid the feds are onto him so he’s waiting for the heat to die down. And Tanya’s contact in Corpus Christi got busted at the border so….wait, what was I talking about? Smash Bros?

DLC Fighters:

Isaac (Golden Sun):

The Venus Adept who saved the world of Weyard from itself wormed his way into Brawl as a mere Assist Trophy to cast Move on unsuspecting scrubs. I wonder why he hasn’t returned to Smash Bros 4 as an Assist Trophy. Is it because Sakurai is considering him as a proper fighter? Then again, we already have a magic-casting swordsman. How could they implement Isaac without making him redundant? Final Smash is Judgment.

 

Snake (Metal Gear Solid):
Really, though, I can’t think of a reason why Snake can’t be in this game. Is it because of the realistic weapons and explosives? Maybe. Just give his rocket launcher a speed boost and a cartoony make over. And give him a proper down smash attack. Spruce up Shadow Moses Island and we’re all set!

 

Dixie Kong (Donkey Kong Country 2):

Considering her appearance in Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, a third and more aerial Kong could be a cool addition to the roster. As a Final Smash, she pulls out a saxophone and blasts people off stage. Oh, wait. Tiny Kong had the sax. Damn.

Viewtiful Joe (Viewtiful Joe):
A quick, all-melee fighter with more aerial abilities than Little Mac? He can launch Shocking Pink and Voomarangs around. And his Final Smash is a Six Cannon. Come on, this isn’t that hard, guys! Alternate skin is Wonder Red.

 

Amaterasu (Okami):
Don’t tell me this isn’t an awesome idea. Shinto sun goddess Amaterasu and Issun could feature a gorgeous HD, cell-shaded, ancient Japan!

 

Travis Touchdown (No More Heroes):

Smash Bros. 4 doesn’t have enough swordsmen! At least not enough who swear and masturbate in game. Beam katanas wear down after use. So you have to use a Special to recharge once in a while. His Final Smash involves Bizarre Jelly 5 somehow.

 

Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney):

If Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 can do it, why not Smash?

 

Casshern (Casshern):

Stuff about blue flowers.

 

Spider-Man (Marvel Comics):

With great powers comes great cross-overs.

 

 

James Bond (Goldeneye 64):

Alternate skin is Sterling Archer.

 

Doctor Doom (Marvel Comics):

Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot Dive Foot

 

Kid Muscle (Ultimate Muscle)

Feathers (Wallace & Gromit)

Gun Guy (Call of Duty/Medal of Honor/Battlefield)

Saxton Hale (Team Fortress 2)

                          Gomez (FEZ)

Rorschach (Watchmen)

Avatar Aang (Avatar: the Last Airbender)

Nick Carraway (The Great Gatsby)

The Doctor (Doctor Who)

Kashino Yuka (Perfume)

Kim Jong-Un (Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea)

Johnny Depp (Johnny Depp)

What about some nifty DLC Assist Trophies?

SCP-682 (SCP Foundation)

Tony Tony Chopper (One Piece)

Tabuu (Super Smash Bros Brawl)

M.O.D.O.K. (Marvel Comics)

Dredd Fox (Parappa the Rappa)- No, not Parappa. The actual rapper “legend” appears on screen and steals 100 coins.

Twilight Sparkle (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)

Black Rock Shooter (Black Rock Shooter)

Jane Marple (Agatha Christie’s Jane Marple)

Confucius (Eastern Zhou Dynasty)

Charles de Gaule (The Fifth Republic of France)

The Lorax (Dr. Suess’s the Lorax book, not the awful movie)

Pat Sajak (Wheel of Fortune)

Kouta Tsuchiya (Baka and Test)

Torgo (Manos: the Hands of Fate)

Tim Allen (Home Improvement)

Tintin (Adventues of Tintin)

Pom Pom (Homestar Runner)

Yahtzee Croshaw (Zero Punctuation)

Jimmy Stewart (Vertigo)

Zebra Mussel (Lake Michigan)

David Cage (Emotions)

And lastly, some DLC stages for the avid Smash enthusiast:

Attilan (The Terrigen Mists)

The Lost Ziox Civilization

The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife

Aperature Laboratories (circa 1959)

Sandstorm (Darude)

Rosswood Park (Marble Hornets)

Highway to the Danger Zone (Kenny Loggins)

Foxconn (Guangzhou, PRC)

Who’s Online (Spiral Mountain V2)

Metru Nui (Bionicle)

Strongbadia

Tijuana (Mexico)

Ms. Wiznewski’s 7th Grade Art Class

Applebee’s in Crestwood, Illinois

What DLC content would you like to see in your handheld or console Smash Bros. 4? What about Snoop Dogg voice lines or Unusuals? Let us know with a comment below, or continue the discussion in our forums!

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